DID I MENTION I HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME?

Charlotte's Web and/or Babe will completely blow a cat's mind.

(Go ahead and click on the play button. This is a real video of my cat watching Charlotte's Web. Did I mention I have a lot of free time?)


Correction...... Both Hogans are completely despicable.



Is it just me or is Hollywood REALLY stretching the word "celebrity?"

(C. Thomas Howell on Celebracadabra...need I say more?)


When, for a second, I am completely mesmerized by Peter Brady on a high-wire, TV sucks.



Dina Lohan is the definition of a cougar.



Ali Lohan is already so tragic.

Denise Richards should probably just look hot and not talk.



Even though I would feel awkward
"talking" to many of my "friends" on facebook,
I feel completely comfortable being updated on their emotional/physical status every 2 hours.


I never want to work again.

I must confess...I still think Alanis Morissette is awesome.



Every Coldplay song sounds exactly the same. Incredibly whiny.



Even though I haven't been to Spain for ten years....I like to keep the traditions by taking a 3 hour nap in the middle of the day.

Tapas restaurants are my favorite restaurants because you can order fourths and no one will look at you funny.



Be careful boys...there are a lot of fucked up chicks out there trying to trick you into marriage.

13 years later......and I'm sorry...but Clueless still makes me pee.



When you are at a party and a guy with an eyepatch shows up..you know things are going to get crazy!


I still loathe Star Trek...but at some point of my unemployment...I turned into a bit of a sci-fi nerd.




A "hot" club with a long line on a Monday night only proves that there are a lot of unemployed people in L.A.

Some things about Ohio are lame...but Skyline chili rules!



My apologies to The Hoff, but I'm pretty skeptical about America having Talent.



I am definitely a dual personality Gemini. I go back and forth between thinking I am an artist and thinking I am an alcoholic.



Sudden death from salmonella. Yet another reason that tomatoes suck.




TiVo is the greatest invention of my lifetime. Besides string cheese.




Charlie Lee is the worst postal carrier in the U.S.

Smog checks are total bullshit.


Word from the wise, don't go to your smog check hungry or the mechanic might trick you into accepting an unidentifiable ethnic treat in place of the free car wash he promised you.

I found the pictures for this blog at 5 AM, after 6 jack and cokes and an entire frozen cheese pizza.

I'm Italian...and I used to be able to lay out in the sun without even applying SPF 15. All of a sudden I need SPF 50. Global warming much?

Absinthe blows my mind.


Even if you don't give a shit about sports...some moments can truly inspire you.







If you are 40, single, and still doing ecstasy..you are gay.

I'm Not Getting Any Smarter

If I did a one-woman show, it would be called Ranch dressing and Jerry Springer.


The best part of unemployment is you can say yes to everything...just don't ask me to run or help you move.

I only run for beer and well, sorry to be repetitive, cheddar cheese.

Summer programming can only make America dumber.

America doesn't really get it when you stay with a man who fucks around on you.

(This was the EASIEST picture to find. Poor Hillary.)

As much as I loved red-headed boys as a child, adult men with red hair are creepy. Men with LONG red hair scare the shit out of me.



Indiana Jones, you had me. Until Shia LaBeouf started swinging through vines like a monkey.

(clearly Spielberg was too mortified to let any pictures of the monkeys onto the internet)


I can't wait to see my first love this summer.


(Explains a lot doesn't it?)



I ate 7 hot dogs my birthday weekend. Don't tell Dr. Kieu.




Am I the only one who really thought they would "make it" by age 30? Um, 40 is the new 30 right?


Whatever Celtics fans. I met Larry Bird once.
He was a jerk.



David Sedaris
might be the only man who understands me.



The island NEEDS you all to come back.



I LOVE Steve Carrell, but having him be romantic with Anne Hathaway* is creepy. Even though I personally would totally have sex with him.

*By the way, I've already seen the movie and sorry Get Smart writers, but your explanation of their age difference doesn't make it any less creepy!


TV/Movie-crossover advertising is just getting too ridiculous. Seriously.



I kind of love Wolf though.



I might be getting too old for keg parties. No. Scratch that. You are never too old for a kegger.


Part of me is sick-to-my-stomach thinking about the new 90210. The other part of me knows I am going to get a Tivo season pass no matter what.

I can't believe when I was in middle school I couldn't wait to shave my legs.
Now I will do anything to avoid it.

Is it wrong
that I REALLY want to mess with the Zohan?


Wine tasting is a fancy way of saying "For now, I am going to be dignified. However, I am going to buy three bottles of wine, go home, and drink until I fall down." Or is that just me?

If you ask me..it should be Carrie and Aidan.



I am so sick of nepotism.



Mike Myers is getting desperate.