All the Single Ladies...

This is the best stupid show I've seen in a long-time. It makes me laugh a lot.


(Go ahead and record it. You are welcome:)


I kind of miss the days of stupid shows.

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In case you ever had any doubt, I'm SO Team Coco.




And Team Wes.




And Team Liddell (can you believe I'm a girl and I watch this?)




Why has Beyonce never rhymed her name with fiance? It's so OBVIOUS.





Have you ever had these? They might be the best thing that happened to me in 2009.





I think I'm getting old. I've been flossing my teeth almost every day. Even when I get home all drunk at night. When did I turn into that person?





Come on America. I know we want to see her fall, but let's not encourage her. I'm begging you.





STOP HAVING BABIES. This isn't some kind of contest. And if you need it to be, you win. Now stop!!





If you want to see two insane people go batshit crazy on each other-Go ahead Mike Starr...




Tom Sizemore dares you to say dopesick one more time!





Damn you Sex and the City movie. The last one made me so angry. But then you had this guy in the preview.






It's hard to motivate yourself to climb the ladder at work when your boss is homeless.


No this isn't my boss but a)she is homeless and b) isn't this picture kind of amazing?)



I know you are going to think I'm crazy-but the new Melrose kind of has its moments.





FYI- I LOVE this guy. And if you don't, child please.





We all have our moments (and believe me, I had a ton in college) but I never fell into a cactus.





Or left a party with a mysterious white powder on my shoes.


(thanks KM for reminding me that I can't let such moments slide by without a blog mention:)



Steven Seagal, you continue to frighten and captivate me.


(One of the CREEPIEST pictures ever)


I finally got an HDTV. Now there is no reason to leave the house.


You still look amazing in HD by the way.





You -not so much.





For any of you that told me a Time Warner DVR
is the same as a Tivo, I feel sorry for you.

I feel like you might also think that Jay Leno is the best comedy out there.

But in your defense, you must not know any better.


I don't need there to be official charges filed to know this guy is a scumbag. And your mullet! Wow, you are really owning it.




Cyndi Lauper is amazing. She's everything eccentric and insane that I hoped she would be.





And somehow, this guy always wins me over.





They say everything I want to say.





I really hate ripping on one of my all-time favorite shows, but seriously, how lame are Pam and Jim now? It's kind of heartbreaking.





But nothing could be as lame as this piece of crap. Nice job Seinfeld. Way to prove NBC could get even shittier.





This is an LA craze I can actually get behind.




I wish I was a rich, famous celebrity so I could go on this show. It's so rad.




This blog is happening in the middle of the night because of 5 calimochos. Trust me, they are delicious.




Please stop getting the Potty Dance song stuck in my head. I don't have kids, so it just ends up being really creepy.




By the way, for those of you that haven't heard, I'm officially engaged!! Yayyy!

Lessons I Learned While Sick and High on Robitussin

Don't try it. No matter how congested you are, even snot can't block the smell of that first alcohol you got drunk on. You know, the one you haven't even been able to look at for 15 years.

(Yep, I threw up 17 times the one and only time that me and Citron met)


Going a whole month without kissing your boyfriend so he won't get sick will really get to you.

Plus you will make lots of silly Pretty Woman "I don't kiss on the mouth" jokes.





You can tell I'm sick if I turn down cheese or alcohol.




There was a cheese plate in my fridge for 2 days. Completely unheard of.


Just when Ashton Kutcher couldn't be any douchier. He started rolling his pants.





Roseanne is one of the greatest shows in history with one of the greatest casts in history.




Your lips get really chapped when you have to walk around town with your mouth open to breathe.




One of the greatest gifts I've given myself was NOT watching Seinfeld back in the day. It's like I have a brand new awesome comedy, 7 days a week.



I can finally admit it, Seinfeld IS pretty funny.


But Curb is SO much funnier.

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And for the record, sometimes I relate a little TOO much to Larry David/George Constanza.




Campbell's chicken noodle soup doesn't get old.




Why is everyone trying to get me to sell back my old gold for cash?




America loves a trainwreck. A lot.




This movie makes me want to go on a killing spree.

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It is literally everything I hate about standup comedy. Hack comics trying to be hilarious for their knucklehead friends.




AAAAH! Can everyone stop saying apps?




Seriously, why do I love you so much?





Yes. Most of us do want more comedy. But this guy doesn't equal comedy.



(Even this picture is hacky!)


So now you are SyFy? Really?
Somehow you've managed to become even more nerdy.





I'm desperate for summer TV. For some reason I've been watching this random show.




I hate vegetables but sometimes I REALLY crave this. I feel like it might have crack in it or something.




Words can't describe how much you irritate me. But you took it to the next level when you said on Conan that your son thinks all black singers are "Uncle Jay." Or Jay Z to the rest of us. Puke.




This show is SO lame without Jerry.



Plus I can't look at you without thinking you must have mommy issues.



I can't believe I'm saying this, but I kind of want this vampire to bite me. Weird, right?




When you can't breathe through your nose, it doesn't matter if you don't shower for a few days. You won't be able to smell anything.








Maybe you should have spent a little less time focusing on this...





And a little more time focusing on the fact that your son became a SERIOUS drug dealer right under your nose. No pun intended:)





Nope. I still don't like pickles.